Psychological Consultations

You had those dreams, too.

When most people think about having children, they think about the usual things – and you probably did, too. When should we start our family? How many kids do I want? How will I balance my career and my family? Which daycare is best?

Terms like third-party reproduction, intended parents, donor gametes, assisted reproductive technologies, and gestational carriers probably never entered your mind.

Whatever your journey has been to arrive at the point at which you’re considering using a donor/third party to build your family, chances are it’s been one filled with frustration, sadness, and loss.

Your dream looks a bit different now, and that’s okay.

You’ve decided to use a donor, you’ve researched and evaluated all of your options, and you’ve chosen the clinic and doctors.

You’re all set, ready to get started, and feeling excited, and probably at least a little bit anxious, about moving forward.

The clinic meets with you to go over the process and provides you with a list of all the steps and tests that need to be completed.

Included on this list is a Psychological Consultation that you have to complete before moving forward with treatment.

Wait a minute! What Psychological Consultation?!

As though things have not been difficult enough already, now you have to meet with some stranger who’s going to decide whether or not you can move forward with building your family?

Seriously?!

Just thinking about it triggers a mixture of anxiety and frustration, and sometimes downright anger.

What do they mean by psychological consultation?

What are they looking for?

What are they going to ask me?

Does that mean that someone is going to analyze and evaluate me to determine whether or not I should become a parent?

Haven’t I been through enough?

Take a deep breath.

So many things have been unfair and painful up to this point, I’m not at all surprised that this might be your first reaction.

You don’t have to worry.

The Psychological Consultation for individuals and couples considering Third-Party Reproduction is NOT an evaluation. It’s NOT something you need to “pass” to move forward with building your family.

It’s a psychoeducational and counseling session…

Conducted by a mental health professional who specializes in Infertility Counseling – that’s me.

The official description by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) states that the purpose of this session is to “facilitate informed decision making about family building with donor gametes, understand the psychological implications of this choice, and to educate and provide resource and support information.”

To make things simpler, it’s a counseling session where we’ll discuss how you came to decide to use donor eggs, sperm, or embryos to build your family – and all the things you’ve had to go through or likely consider as a result of this decision.

What will we address during this session?

We’ll discuss the importance of acknowledging and grieving the losses you’ve experienced along your journey to making this decision (pregnancy loss, loss of being able to have a biological child, etc.).

We’ll discuss and explore the criteria you might be considering when selecting a donor.

We’ll explore the things you might need to think about and consider when using an anonymous donor vs. a known donor.

We’ll identify and explore the fears and worries you might have about the whole process and the future.

We’ll explore your feelings and thoughts about if, when, and how to disclose the use of a donor to your family, your friends, and your child.

And I’ll provide you with a wealth of resources and support that you can access throughout the remainder of your journey.

Supporting you and helping you navigate a complicated decision

The purpose of this session is to help you process everything that led up to your decision to use a donor to help build your family – and to explore the possible implications of this decision – so you can be best prepared for some of the issues you’ll likely encounter, both now and in the future.

Afterward, I’ll write a brief report that describes the issues we discussed and confirms that we covered all the necessary issues that should be explored and considered when making this decision.

It’s all for you.

My role is to help you explore and support YOUR decision – because it is YOUR decision.

And that’s exactly as it should be.

Don’t avoid this step out of fear, anxiety, and anger. Contact me today (734) 263-6644.