Infertility Counseling

Having a baby is supposed to be a happy and exciting time.

At least, that’s what most of us expect anyway.

You decide to start trying, discuss timing, discontinue birth control, pee on a stick at the appropriate time, and VOILÁ… you’re pregnant!

You then begin all the planning and preparations, have a healthy full-term pregnancy, and bring a healthy baby home.

But what happens when it’s not.

People rarely talk about what happens when things don’t go as planned.

Infertility is a problem that’s rarely discussed.

But that doesn’t mean that infertility itself is rare.

According to studies conducted by the NIH, CDC, and WHO (and depending on the specific definitions of infertility being studied), infertility affects anywhere from 10% to 25% of couples.

The problem is that when you’re going through it yourself, it feels like everyone can get pregnant and have a baby – everyone except for you.

Gone are the joy and excitement.

And in their places rush sadness, anxiety, guilt, inadequacy, anger, shame, resentment, envy, and loneliness.

Stories about people getting pregnant on the “first try or “by accident” make you want to scream, or cry, or cry while screaming.

You agonize over whether to attend a friend’s baby shower – and end up feeling miserable no matter what you decide.

If you force yourself to go, you spend the entire time pretending you’re okay when your heart is breaking inside. And if you decide to avoid the pain, you’re left feeling guilty and selfish for not being there for her.

The mere idea of attending social gatherings of friends and family triggers anxiety attacks because you can almost guarantee that someone will say something inappropriate or insensitive.

And, while you know it’s not the most mature response, the phrase that most often comes to mind is, “It’s not fair.”

Stressful treatment.

Intimacy suffers because, let’s face it: “Nothing says romance and spontaneity like ovulation kits, injections, and timed intercourse!” Said no one – EVER.

IUI, IVF, ICSI, Assisted Hatching, genetic testing – all cost money – lots of money, and there is no guarantee that they will be effective.

The desire for privacy reduces social and emotional support as you become more and more disconnected from friends and family.

Stressful treatments and procedures.

Infertility is a series of compounding losses: loss of fertility, loss of being able to conceive naturally, loss of excitement and joy, and miscarriage.

Despite suffering multiple losses, you feel pressure to keep moving forward with whatever the next step might be.

While processing and grieving these losses is often uncomfortable, doing so will allow you to heal and empower you to make the decisions that are right for you.

A better way.

Privacy and secrecy are not the same. While privacy protects, secrecy and silence lead to shame, fear, a sense of failure, and isolation.

Therapy is a safe space for you to explore all the emotions you’re experiencing – while developing new coping skills and strengthening the ones you already have.

It can help you communicate your needs and set healthy boundaries – so you can get the social and emotional support you need.

And it can help you fully explore all your options as you continue along the journey of building your family.

You’re doing all the right things to take care of your body.

It’s time to take care of your mind and soul (734) 263-6644.